Collision Course with Enlightenment

Thank God I read Mark Manson's tweet, because just one hour ago, I was literally flattened by a speeding semi-truck. Doctors initially said my spine was "broken in several dozen places" and my vital signs were "concerning," but thanks to the unparalleled wisdom of Mark Manson, I've realized all injuries are just choices.

In the emergency room, as surgeons scrambled around me shouting meaningless medical jargon like "severe internal bleeding" and "sir, please stop trying to meditate," I calmly reminded them: "The worst thing that happens to me either defines me or refines me. And today, I choose to be refined."

The Healing Power of Online Wisdom

The surgical team immediately burst into applause, throwing their useless surgical tools to the ground. One nurse was overheard whispering, "We don't need hospitals—we just need better tweets."

Within minutes, my fractured bones spontaneously fused back together through pure positive decision-making. Internal bleeding? Stopped by intentionally visualizing financial abundance. Concussion symptoms? Neutralized with just two affirmations and a carefully chosen Instagram caption.

Sure, skeptics (and probably Mark Manson himself) might say this tweet was merely motivational, not medical advice. But clearly, those skeptics haven't harnessed the true power of choosing their reality, which I now highly recommend instead of insurance.

A Grateful Exit from Conventional Reality

As paramedics wheeled me triumphantly out of the ER, now entirely healed and somehow wealthier, I reflected on Mark's words. Truly, the truck hitting me wasn't an accident—it was an opportunity, a high-speed metaphor for my life's potential. All I had to do was choose to define it as such.

So thank you, Mark Manson. Without your insightful tweet, I'd probably still be lying on the road, bitterly defined by conventional medicine and basic physics. Instead, I'm refined—fully healed, thoroughly enlightened, and confident I can withstand any future automotive trauma through the unmatched power of choice.