Relationship Coach Introduces Revolutionary New Program: ‘Have You Tried Just Talking to Each Other?’

Relationship Coach Introduces Revolutionary New Program: ‘Have You Tried Just Talking to Each Other?’

The Method That’s Shaking Relationships to Their Core

In a bold move set to disrupt the multi-billion-dollar relationship advice industry, renowned relationship coach Dr. Pat Simpleton has unveiled a revolutionary new program titled “Have You Tried Just Talking to Each Other?”—a radical concept that suggests, brace yourself, using actual words with your partner instead of passive-aggressive sighs and cryptic text messages.

At a recent press conference, Dr. Simpleton introduced the groundbreaking approach with all the seriousness of someone who’s finally cracked the code of human connection.

“For years, couples have been lost in complex strategies—color-coded emotional charts, compatibility crystals, and personality quizzes that somehow determine if your love is ‘moon-based’ or ‘sun-charged,’” he explained. “But what if, hear me out, you… just spoke… directly… to your partner?”

The audience gasped. Somewhere, a marriage counselor fainted.

The “Just Talking” method is deceptively simple. Step one: Identify the thing that’s bothering you. Step two: Open your mouth. Step three: Say it out loud to the person involved. Revolutionary, indeed.

Program participants receive a comprehensive toolkit, which includes:

• A laminated card that says, “Use Your Words.”
• A flowchart titled “Is This an Issue or Are You Just Hungry?”
• And, for premium members, a bonus guide: “How to Maintain Eye Contact Without Spiraling Into Existential Dread.”

The Reactions: Mixed, Confused, Terrified

Early adopters have reported mixed results.

“I actually told my boyfriend that it bothers me when he leaves dishes in the sink,” said Sarah, 29. “And he… apologized? I wasn’t prepared for that. I thought we’d need at least three months of therapy and a breakup scare.”

However, not everyone is convinced. Critics argue that such a direct approach lacks nuance.

“Where’s the emotional labor? The decoding of vague Instagram quotes? The late-night passive-aggressive door slamming?” asked one skeptic, furiously scrolling through a carousel of zodiac memes for answers.

Final Thoughts: The End of Cryptic Relationship Strategies?

Despite the controversy, Dr. Simpleton remains unfazed.

“Communication isn’t supposed to be an escape room puzzle,” he said, shrugging. “Sometimes you just say the thing.”

Groundbreaking.